Dark Places

I am weary. Today I received some very hard news for my family and I am so tempted to throw out ALL efforts to participate in this life. Caring beyond my family is a real struggle. At least, I would like to be in a bubble with my family and give no more cares for the outside world. I’m ready for heaven and home and it hurts to breathe. There isn’t a hug that can fix it, no conversation to bring comfort. It’s just me in my struggle to survive the next 10 minutes and then the next. It’s a dark place. I hate it. For the girl people often see as lit with life and light and the Love of God, I’m embarrassed I don’t know who she is today.

Last night I was a keyboard warrior and while I had fun, I toyed fighting with evil. I knew it going in and knew when I walked away that I had indeed looked Satan in the eyes and said, “Not today!” There are days where my contribution to the impact in Texas feels massive and even quantitative. But… today… I am weak, and I hate this prison planet. I’d like to go Home.

There are days when I plead for mercy to be set apart from the evils of this world and I lose hope. I have more Jonah moments than I care to admit. Daily, the enemy conjures accusations that I am a DANGEROUS parent – neglectful and even MURDEROUS – in order to manipulate the social climate and political mandates that would ultimately enslave my family. The whims of the next media driven scare tactic haunt me. I repeatedly hear myself say, “Those people don’t deserve my help.” Many times, I’m not even sorry. Then I read about another baby dying the day they got their scheduled shots. My heart breaks that I couldn’t help them, and pounds with righteous anger. If I shout it from the rooftops, they still have deaf ears. Or maybe they do hear, but their consciences are seared. Another one dies. Another is brain damaged with seizures for life. Another is unaware as to why they are sick all the time, and survives struggling with lifelong complications. My voice is hoarse from shouting and I feel drowned out. The enemy is pleased.

I have 5 healthy, homeschooled, non-vaccinated children. Why should I care beyond my family bubble? This isn’t my fight, right? We will homeschool until the last child is finished. I could be silent. I could let someone else handle this. It would be so simple to walk away and take care of my life in new and better ways. The business I’m building could get all the attention it needs. My kids could have a better homeschool experience. I could BE that Pinterest homeschool mom.

Except, Pinterest is censoring vaccine choice content – calling it “self harm” – and Facebook is threatening to do the same. Rumors are coming in from just about everywhere that we will being silenced on every platform. The latest assault on spreading the truth came from Amazon. Why is the company I buy my toothpaste from getting into the political war for my body? Who forced them to take a side?! My hoarse voice cracks, muted by a computer algorithm programmed by someone out there who has no clue.

Then, the claim that we are well-funded was a hard slap to our faces. The husbands of the hardest working volunteers on the planet clinch their jaws because they are literally working out what bill gets postponed so they can fix their family vehicle. This was never about money for us.

I told a man who was insisting government mandates are necessary that I would walk through hot coals to keep my right to make medical decisions for myself and my family. No one wants this battle! I’d NEVER choose to walk over hot coals for the fun of it. I realized he, and those who agree with him, ARE coming after my family. There is no safe bubble. They march this war to my doorsteps. They delight in throwing coals and have no problem demanding we walk over them.

Friends, meet me in the dark places. We know them too well. The dark places where your child is permanently damaged, hope for them is so small, and life is HARD. Meet me in the dark places. Meet me at the grave site of your loved one. Remember the dark places where you were refused medical care and had no place to go. Meet me. Bring the coal they threw at you. Meet me where your bodily autonomy was violated in the name of taking one for the team. Meet me in the place where your family no longer wants you to visit because you cannot vaccinate your child. Meet me in the dark places of ignorance and hate. Meet me! Meet me where discrimination and public shame impacted your family and opportunity. Meet me in the dark places where CPS was fraudulently called on your family. Meet me in the doctor’s office where medical duress was rampant. Meet me where the death threats assaulted you and where they hoped your children die. You know the dark places too well.

Dark places make it hard to see who is there. Some I know simply because I’ve battled beside them so long; I know the sounds of their hearts beating. Others are new to me, but they brought their coal. Bring yours. Bring ALL the coal they threw at you!

Coals, once cold and black, are only dependent on ONE coal being red hot. Red hot coals ignite other coals. The heat and fire spread.

Our reasons for why we endure the dark places light the fire as we fan the flame. The coal thrown at us grows red hot. First we walk over them, and then, carry them. Finally, we offer them to those who need light and warmth. Hope.

We are made to do the best of things in the worst of times.

Meet me in the dark places.

Soot is our war paint.

Love is our strength.

Hope fans the flame.

The fight is fueled.

Light the fire.

Come and Take It.

Freedom Fight 2019

33 thoughts on “Dark Places”

  1. Beautifully written. I ask the same questions: “Why do I even bother?” But then I look at the children suffering the burden of their belligerent parents’ choices, the bullying of their doctor, and the conniving greed of the pharamaceutical company and decide to carry on the fight.

    1. We do it for the others that are not hurt yet ! My twin son is sitting with me like every other day while his twin brother has a life outside these doors . It breaks my heart to imagine what could have been what SHOULD HAVE BEEN!!

  2. Thank you for your commitment to freedom! I hope your words encourage ALL of us to continue to take on evil and to face our sometimes seeming insurmountable challenges. It seems we live in the dark places more often these days. The “herd” tries to take away our rights one minute at a time, one law at a time. But, we CAN and MUST stop – or at least slow down – their progression. Whenever one of us stands up, we encourage others to do the same. We MUST stand up and fight! There is no battle more important than the battle for freedom. Our country was founded on it. Though the years have passed, and the battles have changed their appearance, the fundamental things our forefathers fought and died for we also fight to preserve today.

    My life was changed forever several years ago when I heard a speaker challenge a group of autism Moms in a crowded room. Her words: You can either be a WARRIOR Mom or a VICTIM Mom. It’s your choice, and your choice, alone. You can stand up and fight or you can choose to cower and stay silent as a victim. You must decide your destiny and start your journey.

    I chose to be a WARRIOR Mom, and haven’t regretted that decision. It’s important to FIGHT for our children! And to fight for our FREEDOM!

  3. I meet you in the dark places, my sister and my friend. My comrade and the one who says from on High, “This is MY sister and My beloved!” I meet you, I concur with you, and I love you. This is the day and hour when courage meets fight and valor. <3 Do not despair, for in due season you will reap if you faint not.

  4. I’ve been in this fight for truth against the powers for 20+ years. I’ve gone through some very dark places. The best thing I ever did to counter it was to take iodine.

    I’m sorry that seems like a non sequetor. Iodine, what? Yes. If toxic heavy metals in vaccines are the problem, then detoxing them, and getting the good minerals is, is, yes, that is the solution.

    I started iodine 3 years ago. It lifted my depression so quickly, it was crazy. I felt like a new person. I regained control of my brain and emotions. Every other mineral I took after that was like another layer of brain control, as well as total body healing as my joint aches also lifted.

    Now, I can fight and be the keyboard warrior with so much greater inner strength than ever before, due to the superior emotional regulation and control.

    Here is a list of the minerals I’m taking; I hope this helps you: Iodine, Selenium, Boron, Copper, Sulfur, Molybdenum, Chromium, Vanadium, Zinc, Magnesium, Silica, Sea Salt, Potassium, Colloidal silver, Colloidal gold, Vitamin C, B complex

  5. Many others feel the same way. I’ve been in this fight many many years. We fight not just for ourselves but for the others. If vaccinations become mandatory blood will flow. Many have moved to Texas because we are strong. When there is no place to go blood will flow. the violence that you are not seeing on CNN in Britain and France is destined to become part of the American landscape if Trump is unsuccessful at dismantling the deep state. He may seem like a scoundrel and a pompous ass, which he can be, but he is also in it for all of us. Regardless of what you think you know about him remember he was the one who brought up the vaccine issue at the presidential primaries. There are good insiders fighting for the freedom of Americans. Do not despair. Take some time off. Give yourself a break and then know that there are many around you fighting this nasty fight also.
    Q

  6. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!!!!!! Thank you over and over again! For fighting not only for your own family, but also for mine! Thank you for your dedication, for your service and for your sacrifice! I know I can never repay you, but I will try by continuing to donate and support TFVC!!!!

  7. Meet me in the dark places where your ex-spouse uses your child to manipulate the system, obtains order to forcibly inject and injure your child, then uses the injury they caused to then take your child from you.

  8. Rebecca Heidenreich

    Oh mama…you and I could be friends…#warrior this was so we’ll written and empowering…thank you.

  9. I hope you’re ok and that you aren’t considering harming yourself. Please call 800-273-8255 if you are.

    We need to boycott Amazon, Pinterest, CNN, The Washington Post, & The New York Times, and be prepared to do so with Facebook, Google, and any other company that suppresses freedom of speech and conscience about vaccines.

    1. allgoodthings2014

      Thank you for your concern. I can see why you may have worried about that. I have zero plans to hurt myself. Thank you for reaching out and checking.

  10. I literally could not get through this without tears!! Thank you my new Warrior friend, I will stand with you!

  11. I will fight for my medical freedoms if I have to. I do not consent. Give me liberty or give me death. The only way you’re getting a vaccine in me is by injecting one in my cold dead body.

    #I’llFightForMedicalFreedomForever

    #DebateMeDon’tFightMe

    #MakePharmaLiableAgain

    #SeparationOfPharmaAndState

    #MakeAmericaFreeAgain

    (First they came for the preborn. But I did not say anything because I was already born. Then they came for the unvaccinated but I did not say anything because I was pro-vaccine. Then they came for the rest of the troublemakers; those who would not capitulate and do what they are told like good little sheeple)……..

    Extraordinary Claims Require Extraordinary Evidence. The idea that science can improve upon the human body via immunization is an extraordinary claim.

    To all the Pro-Vaccine Mandate Fascists of the World: You worry about your own vaccination status and leave me and mine alone. My body belongs to me, not to big pharma, I am not your slave regardless of the color of my skin or my religious beliefs.

    I am the parent of vaccine injured children. Especially in the case of my daughter Jaelyn to date she has never fully recovered from her last round of vaccines. She said that she felt like her head felt like it was exploding. No one is vaccinating her ever again I made a mistake when I trusted my doctor. Point of fact: I should have listened to my older brother Michael Edwards now I will carry a burden of guilt until the day I die. Naively; I trusted my doctor to give me informed consent, stupidly I trusted that the pharmaceutical industry made a concerted effort to make the safest product possible and the justice department would help me to hold any company accountable for faulty design, and I even believed that the federal government cared about us I mean a little bit,-Like their first love was power, then money, then fame, then favoritism,but I presumptuously assumed that they had a little room left over in their heart for my well being….. turns out these guys are very much in the minority as far as politicians go. I was legally illiterate in regards to vaccines and I believed that I had to get my children vaccinated in order to go to school. I had never even heard of vaccine exemptions until after my children became vaccine injured. Never again.

  12. You wrote about the place I currently live. This week I’ve been told by two of our children we have to be vaccinated for whooping cough before we can enter the hospital to see their newborns. My daughter just told me yesterday about her pregnancy – 38 and first child – first grandchild. Before I’d climbed down off Cloud 9, we had the first vaccination discussion. I thought she’d absorbed some of the information I’ve given her over the years, and then this. They are brain-washed, poor things. So from elation to worry in one fell swoop. Not a great night’s sleep, and I haven’t even started on the pregnancy vaccines!

    I can do NOTHING. I have to accept that. But it’s stressful and heartbreaking.

    1. Dorothy Erickson

      Our last 3 grandchildren were born and we were told we had to be vaccinated or would not see them for 3 months. No thoughts we expressed made a difference. And our daughter had vaccinations while pregnant.
      40 years ago, our doctor said I could take a baby aspirin with a headache but not anything else. I am saddened for todays children and parents. Why won’t they listen? Are they in a brain fog? Blessings and hugs to those going through this and please continue to fight for informed consent!

    2. Hello Helen, my 12 year old granddaughter got the TDaP, September 2019. She has been sick ever since. I’m very frustrated because I cannot find out if there is a link between the two.

      I contacted an anti-vex organization, but they want my son to fill out a vax hurt form. He can’t do if unless he can prove she was hurt be the vax. Do you have any suggestions. Just don’t know where to turn. I trust that the Lord will guide but I need to do my part but can’t find any info. Sincerely, Pat

  13. Susan Chereldene

    Moved to tears. I will always be an essential oils gal. Til the day my children get polio I will never vaccinate!

  14. Meeting you here with two kids negativity affected by standardized medicine, yet thriving with alternative, nutrient based healthcare (completely uncovered, excruciatingly unaffordable except through great sacrifice, and completely discounted by standard medical personnel).

  15. “They had many chances of givin’ up, except they didn’t. ‘Cause they were holdin’ onto somethin’.”

    “What are we holding onto, Sam?”

    “That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fightin’ for.”

  16. God bless you! Please don’t give up! I never knew Texansforvaccinechoice existed. I thought I was all alone and cowered in silence afraid to breathe a word of my opposing thoughts to the world. I agree with your mission. Thank God He has called you to this battle. I am sure there are many more hidden in silence out here praying for a soldier like you. I will keep you covered in prayer my Sister!

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